BY MEL COOKE, Freelance Writer
Tony Matterhorn - FILE
IT WAS VERY raw, it was very raucous, it was not very musical and the rhythmic 'woahs!' went up from the women at the Asylum's 'Ladies Night' yesterday morning, as three selectors showed their performing side and shouted their rhymes into the microphone.
It was not a planned performance at the Knutsford Boulevard, New Kingston, nightclub, but host Fancy Cat called on selector Tony Matterhorn who was chilling over the selector's booth. Shirley climbed up and 'dutty wined' then on high, her hairpiece moving like a propellor and hitting the ceiling as it made its circuit.
He protested but was persuaded to come on. "Big up de hairdresser. Yu suppose to love me," Matterhorn said. "Oonu bway whe a dutty wine, oonu neck fe pop an' oonu head wheel off like a chicken. Low de gal dem an dem dance," Matterhorn said, to howls of approval.
"How dem get inna de pants?" he demanded of those men who wear their pants too close to their thighs.
"Me a promote a new song, Dutty Wine done sell off," Matterhorn said and the chants went up as he chanted "goodas gal yu a goodas fi dem".
"Me a no artiste. Me a de number one selector inna de worl'. Me wi hol' da pos' deh. Me jus' do a song fe de girl dem. Oonu did need a song, no true?" Matterhorn demanded and there was a collective scream of 'yes'.
"Nutten no wrong wid Bun Him. If yu deh wid a man like Matterhorn, cute like a wha, if de h'd nah stiff up, bun him," Matterhorn said and the women agreed.
There were more screams when he called on Richie Feelings, selector turned performer encouraging "scream out yu house no empty" to tumultuous response. Matterhorn came back with "talk bout yu kids cause yu kids cute".
Matterhorn advised the ladies "your bed is for sleeping" and Feelings chanted "how yu fi sey yu hot an' yu pickney no trash".
After Feelings chanted "talk bout yu house" the Maestro hit the stage and went straight under the skirt and the goodness thereof, Matterhorn following suit, the Maestro ending the selectors' showing to renewed screams as he encouraged "walk out my girl walk out".
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