Tell Me Pastor

Don't be a home wrecker

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old female living in the United States. I am married to a man I've been with for over eight years.

We have a child together. This man and I have been through so much together over the years. To be honest he has done some cruel things to me for which I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him. I prayed about it over and over but I just can't forgive him.

I visited Jamaica about four years ago and I met someone. We became really close friends and over a period of time I fell in love with him. We kept in contact when I came back to the United States. He expressed to me that he is also in love with me. He also has a child, and he and his child's mother have a good relationship as far as I know.

The problem is, I want to divorce my husband; not because of this other man. However I'm afraid that everyone is going to think that is the reason I am getting a divorce. I get along great with my husband's relatives and everyone loves him, including myself, but I'm not in love with him anymore. I don't want to be taken for a fool.

My question to you is, Do you think that this guy in Jamaica could seriously want a relationship with me? Do these long distance relationships really work?

Initials Withheld,

Los Angeles, California

Dear --..,

I don't know what makes you think that the answer to your problem with your husband is to divorce him, and to get involved with a man who has a very good relationship with his child's mother. A woman should always remember that 'what goes round comes around'.

If you are determined to divorce your husband, that is up to you. But I would suggest that you leave this Jamaican man alone. His baby mother needs him. And what you are going to do is to mash up the relationship that he has with her. That is so wrong.

Perhaps you should seriously consider going for counseling with your husband.

Pastor.