Commentary

Ten things I am yet to understand

THE OTHER DAY I was thinking about 10 things that I am yet to understand after my 20 odd years on earth.

This list stems from life long observations or from things that have popped up over the last 10 years or so. The 10 things you'll read below range from least to complex. So here goes.

10. Why is it that male public bathrooms are always dirty? They are never clean for any long periods and are almost always graffiti filled and smelly. The toilet seats are always covered with urine even when there is a urinal. And, whenever there are urinals, they are filled with toilet paper.

9. 'Please Call Me' text messages. Ever since the creation of this service by Digicel, people have used it to get in contact with all and sundry because it's free. I'm wondering do these people ever think about buying phone cards? I mean it will stop annoying those of us who still add money to our phones.

8. Politicians. Do they all think we are idiots? They always seem to jump at the opportunity to feel important and are always missing in action when it comes to dealing with the important issues.

7. Men who have no standards. Trust me, as much as I am a man I think there are those among us who do not care about who they sleep with. As long as the other party is a female they are perfectly contented to have sex with her regardless of age, appearance or character and then have the nerve to boast about their conquests.

6. Why is it that as soon as someone without money gets some, they suddenly go for the most expensive of things, and persons with it from birth go for the cheaper things?

5. Jamaicans with accents. Ever so often, people depart our shores for periods less than 10 years and when they return they have acquired an American accent. Or, there are those who go on American media and all of a sudden they have accents. What ever happened to sounding Jamaican? There are people who would kill to sound Jamaican.

4. Homosexuals. This minority with a very loud mouth gave up their ability to get married and have children when they decided to copulate and cohabitate with persons of the same sex. But, they still want to have kids and get married. Didn't they think about this before they turned in this direction?

3. The term homophobia. I'm still trying to get the meaning of this word. Based on the meaning of both homo and phobia, I would say homophobia literally means 'same fear'. For instance, arachnophobia means fear of spiders, claustrophobia means fear of confined spaces and all the other phobias I know of mean fear of something. But homophobia means hating homosexual. Can somebody explain this?

2. How come people with little or no schooling always end up making more money than the average person with education? The average teacher or nurse will struggle to make ends meet. This also goes right across the board for most other professions. However, some semi-literate can rhyme a few words together and end up making millions. That's not fair.

1. Women. Solomon couldn't understand them so I don't suppose I'll ever be able to. They cut off their hair and add attachments, shave their eyebrows and repaint it, they wear short skirts and are always pulling it down and, cut their nails and cover them with long false ones... Hmm! No wonder they are number one.