DEAR PASTOR,
I always read your column and think that you always give the best advice.
There are a couple questions I would like to ask you. My boyfriend and I have been together for the past five years. The first two years I resided in the United States of America but I travelled back and forth just to see him. We love each other very much.
The problem is that he got someone else pregnant but he never kept it from me. He told me everything and said it was only a one night stand. He asked her to do an abortion but she said she couldn't do it.
I tried to overlook it and go on with the relationship but every time I remember it I cry because I love him so much. I don't know what to do. I am not saying that I never cheated on him.
I am talking to another guy here and he loves me very much. He also knows that I have a man in Jamaica. I do love this guy but I am not in love with him the way I am with my man in Jamaica. I always hear people say that long distance relationships never last.
Do you think it can last knowing that he got someone else pregnant?
We talk nearly every day. We love each other very much and want the relationship to work. Could you give me some advice on how we can make the relationship work?
He is 25 years old and I am 22.
Initials & Address Withheld By request..
Dear --,
This guy in Jamaica may tell you that he had a one-night stand and as a result he got a girl pregnant. Many guys use that excuse time and time again but it is not always true. They make women look cheap. I would prefer to believe that he has been having an intimate relationship with the young woman and he had unprotected sex with her and she got pregnant. I don't believe he has been honest with you.
The young woman decided to carry the pregnancy so he must be prepared to support the child. It seems to me that he would like to continue the relationship he is having with you. You have been carrying on with another man and the only difference is that that man has not gotten you pregnant. So whenever you are thinking about how naughty the man in Jamaica has been, please bear in mind that you have been naughty too.
If you believe that you can forgive him for what he has done and if he is willing to come clean about his child's mother, perhaps you should consider marrying him. You have been going together for five years. Both of you are young and find it difficult to do without sex. That is why you got involved with another man and he with another woman.
I hope he will tell his baby mother the truth about you and give her the assurance that he would support his child.
Pastor
